Love can make us do crazy things...Love unleashes our smarter self...Love makes us look gullible & meek...Love is mature...Love is kiddish...
Love makes us feel empowered...Love is intimidating...Love is charming...Love is suffocating....Love is liberating....
So many contradictions yet thats what keeps us going....
It's been 40 years since we grew in this relationship and will continue to grow. Times have changed since we met. Our love has been witness to the changing times. The changing times has been witness to our love.
As I sit next to your grave, I understand you will not be with me. But your love has always been much larger than your own sweet self. Your love has been selfless. Your love will continue to grow in your physical absence and it will help me to enrich my life.
But I am feeling incomplete.I feel like a lesser being.I don't feel any amount of optimism will ever fill the vacum that has been created by your absence.
[The cell phone rings. It's a reminder message which reads "Water the flowers in the garden or else honey shall scream ;-)".]
I guess I should make a move. A move from 'this graveyard' to 'our garden'.
Showing posts with label short story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label short story. Show all posts
February 13, 2011
January 26, 2010
The train journey-A short story
A local train journey was not new to him. It was an integral part of his growing up years in college. Relishing the extra sweet tea served in mud cups, savoring the local sweets and namkeen, singing in train were part of those journeys back then. However, the most memorable part were those short lived relationships which used to get build with strangers during the journey. The conversation, the laughter and the occasional remorse which used to foster through the journey was remarkable.
It was 20 years since he had stepped into a local train to meet his revered professor in college. He was keenly looking forward to meet his favorite professor with whom he had lost touch completely. A deep sense of guilt infused inside him.
In all these years he had earned all the good things life could have possibly offered him including a splendid car. But he chose the train to relive a few old moments.
The crowd seemed busy and occupied. Some occupied with reading the newspaper, some busy with the cell phone, some with their music gadgets and quite a few in their thoughts.
A lot had changed since then.
But the beggars were still at large. He found a rare innocence in them. They were still comfortable forsaking their ego and asking for a few pennies as they used to many years back.
He wondered " It's the desire to get more that evolves a person".
A lot had evolved since those early years. Most of it was undesirable according to him. However, what remained static did make him feel nostalgic but saddened him equally.
He was not complaining. He was simply awed by the obvious revelation.
He was missing the companionship of his friends as the crowd appeared indifferent.
Ticket collector had appeared by then and he realized that he did not buy the ticket. He was worried about the possible embarassment of shelling out a fine in the midst of a crowd. Wearing an expensive suit and yet not buying a train ticket would be very embarrassing.
Collector said " Dada ticket please".
He struggled to find an appropriate response. A perplexed look was evident on his face. The ticket collector repeated his words. Now in a more stern voice. Indeed a lot had not changed he thought.
The blind passenger next to him took out a ticket and offered it to the ticket collector.
The ticket collector left the compartment.
He was now inquisitive about the generosity showed by the blind person next to him. He told him "Dada thanks a lot". The blind man replied " Pleasure is entirely mine. My daughter could not accompany me in the last minute and I had a spare ticket for the entire route."
He further inquired " What do you do Sir?" The blind man replied " I am a professor in the city college".
The station had arrived and the professor left in a hurry from the train.
It was 20 years since he had stepped into a local train to meet his revered professor in college. He was keenly looking forward to meet his favorite professor with whom he had lost touch completely. A deep sense of guilt infused inside him.
In all these years he had earned all the good things life could have possibly offered him including a splendid car. But he chose the train to relive a few old moments.
The crowd seemed busy and occupied. Some occupied with reading the newspaper, some busy with the cell phone, some with their music gadgets and quite a few in their thoughts.
A lot had changed since then.
But the beggars were still at large. He found a rare innocence in them. They were still comfortable forsaking their ego and asking for a few pennies as they used to many years back.
He wondered " It's the desire to get more that evolves a person".
A lot had evolved since those early years. Most of it was undesirable according to him. However, what remained static did make him feel nostalgic but saddened him equally.
He was not complaining. He was simply awed by the obvious revelation.
He was missing the companionship of his friends as the crowd appeared indifferent.
Ticket collector had appeared by then and he realized that he did not buy the ticket. He was worried about the possible embarassment of shelling out a fine in the midst of a crowd. Wearing an expensive suit and yet not buying a train ticket would be very embarrassing.
Collector said " Dada ticket please".
He struggled to find an appropriate response. A perplexed look was evident on his face. The ticket collector repeated his words. Now in a more stern voice. Indeed a lot had not changed he thought.
The blind passenger next to him took out a ticket and offered it to the ticket collector.
The ticket collector left the compartment.
He was now inquisitive about the generosity showed by the blind person next to him. He told him "Dada thanks a lot". The blind man replied " Pleasure is entirely mine. My daughter could not accompany me in the last minute and I had a spare ticket for the entire route."
He further inquired " What do you do Sir?" The blind man replied " I am a professor in the city college".
The station had arrived and the professor left in a hurry from the train.
September 17, 2007
The Convocation Day- A short story set in a college
The college in which I embarked my journey to discover myself did not just merely give me my MBBS degree but paved a new beginning for yet another beautiful journey.
Today seated among the hundreds of student around me in the convocation day I can say that with a lot delight.Things were different sometime back when it was the last day of my college days. I was in my hostel room packing my bags. Abhishek and Shoibhik who were my roommates for the last five years were doing the same. Not quite literally but still Abhishek had to pack the cigarette butts, Shoibhik was busy adjusting the dozens of certificates he had won and I was staring at the love letters which I could never send to the person whom I used to call Sagarika.
Well I kept reading the letters for numerous times. Abhishek came and told me that had I even send those letter to her once then I wouldn’t have been pondering resentfully over it like this. At least I would have convinced myself of trying and giving a first and last shot at it. If not convinced, I was at least left confused over my state. Shoibhik added more to my frustration by saying that “Don’t be afraid to tell her about your feelings, if you do tell her she might break your heart and if you don’t then you might break her heart”. I replied instantly "So you are telling me to give the benefit of doubt to her".“Brother I don’t have the patience to continue this conversation with you but the bottom line is that if today you loose this opportunity then you have to prepare yourself for a transition from a looser to an enduring looser, need I say more”.I was clueless about what to do (well not really clueless).
Some reflex action made me jump out of my bed and I started dressing up. Shoibhik and Abhishek were completely stunned for a minute or so.Abhishek anxiously asked "what’s wrong with you? I guess you need a new starter for yourself". I replied, "well nothing is wrong with me, I am going to tell her my feelings today, I have to rush to the railway station now, her train is scheduled at 3 o clock." Abhishek and Shoibhik in chorus "all the best dude".I finally arrived at the Howrah railway station in Calcutta. I was busy searching for her. Finally I went to the board where the reservation list was put up. I found her name on the reservation list. I was waiting in the compartment but to my utter dismay I could not find even a trace of her.
Well she is the kind of person who left things for the last minute so my hopes were alive to meet her. Nothing better to do, I grabbed a cold drink and gulped down the entire aerated drink at one go. Then came a glorifying burp.The burp did come but she did not come. Hardly less than ten minutes were left for the train to leave for it’s destination. I thought she would miss the train and I would have all the time in the world to tell her my feelings.
Then came Sagarika running towards her compartment. She was holding suitcases in both her hands. I was too preoccupied or may be too absorbed at staring into her eyes without realizing that I should have helped her to carry her luggage inside the compartment. Then I realized that Abhishek’s suggestion of getting a new starter for myself was not that bad idea and I took the luggage from her hand. Sagarika said "It took a little time for you to invoke the gentleman inside you.""Well sorry for that, so you are leaving and it's time to say good bye." Sagarika did not say anything, she only gave a smile and she looked gorgeous as always. I was speechless, may be lost into the illusionary world where only both of us existed.
Then she said, "Well I am leaving and I have to leave. I just want to tell you that you mean a lot to me and we have been the best of friends for the past five years, tomorrow we might be real good friends, after sometime we might miss each other then slowly we would loose contact with each other and finally we wouldn’t feel like talking to each other too but irrespective of what the future holds for us, all I know that you have touched my life in a very beautiful way. Thank you for all the things you have given me and above all thanks to God for blessing me with a friend like you.
I don’t remember how I felt then; I was not in my consciousness to feel anything. But the feeling was something very close to what I call 'pain'. Another thing that I remember was that my tear glands were at its work. I tried my best to not cry. The guard whistled and the train made that annoying sound that indicated that Sagarika was moving away from my life.I handed over the rasgullas (sweets) to her and waved my hand. Waving my hand at her was possibly the toughest thing to do at that point of time. I managed to smile and tell her "good bye Sagarika. I will miss you a lot." For the first time instead of staring at the rasgullas, she kept staring at me.
Within a span of few seconds only the last few bogies were visible (actually not quite visible as my tear glands were busy at it's work).Then I realized that today also I could not tell her what I wanted to tell her. Shoibhik's words crossed my mind and my transition from a looser to an enduring looser had begun. This was taking a toll on me. I turned around and saw Shoibhik and Abhishek standing.
I wept a lot that day on their shoulders. My emotional vulnerability was unplugged….
One year passed by since that day and the day was being celebrated as the convocation day. It felt great to be back in the college campus. When I entered the portals of my college it gave me a nostalgic feeling. Well everything was still the same in college but there was this vacuum inside me. It was difficult for me to recognize that unfamiliar vacuum.As I entered the hall I met all my friends and classmates (including Abhishek and Shoibhik). Had the regular conversation, shared some jokes but that unfamiliar vacuum was taking the life out of me.
The convocation ceremony had just begun and the chief guest came on stage to give his speech. There was pin drop silence then.But something broke that silence. It was Sagarika’s footsteps, again the last one to reach any place as usual, and probably the first and the last (love) for me too.She came and sat next to me filling not only the empty seat next to me but also the unfamiliar vacuum inside me.We then had our conversation where I portrayed that everything was going well and smooth in my life.
After receiving the degree we went outside for a brisk walk around the campus. Failing to bottle up my emotions, I finally told her what she meant to me. There was an uncomfortable silence, which surrounded me, and out of an impulse she said 'yes' to my proposal. Well I am not sure if that ‘yes’ was out of an impulse but that impulse has today brought Sagarika and me back to this college after 25 years for our daughter’s convocation day.Today my hair has turned a little grey and Sagarika has started getting her wrinkles.We are no more a pretty couple but my daughter says we are the most beautiful couple on earth if not the prettiest.This college blessed me with a degree, great friends (Abhishek and Shoibhik) and a lot more (Sagarika).
-Saikat Saha
Today seated among the hundreds of student around me in the convocation day I can say that with a lot delight.Things were different sometime back when it was the last day of my college days. I was in my hostel room packing my bags. Abhishek and Shoibhik who were my roommates for the last five years were doing the same. Not quite literally but still Abhishek had to pack the cigarette butts, Shoibhik was busy adjusting the dozens of certificates he had won and I was staring at the love letters which I could never send to the person whom I used to call Sagarika.
Well I kept reading the letters for numerous times. Abhishek came and told me that had I even send those letter to her once then I wouldn’t have been pondering resentfully over it like this. At least I would have convinced myself of trying and giving a first and last shot at it. If not convinced, I was at least left confused over my state. Shoibhik added more to my frustration by saying that “Don’t be afraid to tell her about your feelings, if you do tell her she might break your heart and if you don’t then you might break her heart”. I replied instantly "So you are telling me to give the benefit of doubt to her".“Brother I don’t have the patience to continue this conversation with you but the bottom line is that if today you loose this opportunity then you have to prepare yourself for a transition from a looser to an enduring looser, need I say more”.I was clueless about what to do (well not really clueless).
Some reflex action made me jump out of my bed and I started dressing up. Shoibhik and Abhishek were completely stunned for a minute or so.Abhishek anxiously asked "what’s wrong with you? I guess you need a new starter for yourself". I replied, "well nothing is wrong with me, I am going to tell her my feelings today, I have to rush to the railway station now, her train is scheduled at 3 o clock." Abhishek and Shoibhik in chorus "all the best dude".I finally arrived at the Howrah railway station in Calcutta. I was busy searching for her. Finally I went to the board where the reservation list was put up. I found her name on the reservation list. I was waiting in the compartment but to my utter dismay I could not find even a trace of her.
Well she is the kind of person who left things for the last minute so my hopes were alive to meet her. Nothing better to do, I grabbed a cold drink and gulped down the entire aerated drink at one go. Then came a glorifying burp.The burp did come but she did not come. Hardly less than ten minutes were left for the train to leave for it’s destination. I thought she would miss the train and I would have all the time in the world to tell her my feelings.
Then came Sagarika running towards her compartment. She was holding suitcases in both her hands. I was too preoccupied or may be too absorbed at staring into her eyes without realizing that I should have helped her to carry her luggage inside the compartment. Then I realized that Abhishek’s suggestion of getting a new starter for myself was not that bad idea and I took the luggage from her hand. Sagarika said "It took a little time for you to invoke the gentleman inside you.""Well sorry for that, so you are leaving and it's time to say good bye." Sagarika did not say anything, she only gave a smile and she looked gorgeous as always. I was speechless, may be lost into the illusionary world where only both of us existed.
Then she said, "Well I am leaving and I have to leave. I just want to tell you that you mean a lot to me and we have been the best of friends for the past five years, tomorrow we might be real good friends, after sometime we might miss each other then slowly we would loose contact with each other and finally we wouldn’t feel like talking to each other too but irrespective of what the future holds for us, all I know that you have touched my life in a very beautiful way. Thank you for all the things you have given me and above all thanks to God for blessing me with a friend like you.
I don’t remember how I felt then; I was not in my consciousness to feel anything. But the feeling was something very close to what I call 'pain'. Another thing that I remember was that my tear glands were at its work. I tried my best to not cry. The guard whistled and the train made that annoying sound that indicated that Sagarika was moving away from my life.I handed over the rasgullas (sweets) to her and waved my hand. Waving my hand at her was possibly the toughest thing to do at that point of time. I managed to smile and tell her "good bye Sagarika. I will miss you a lot." For the first time instead of staring at the rasgullas, she kept staring at me.
Within a span of few seconds only the last few bogies were visible (actually not quite visible as my tear glands were busy at it's work).Then I realized that today also I could not tell her what I wanted to tell her. Shoibhik's words crossed my mind and my transition from a looser to an enduring looser had begun. This was taking a toll on me. I turned around and saw Shoibhik and Abhishek standing.
I wept a lot that day on their shoulders. My emotional vulnerability was unplugged….
One year passed by since that day and the day was being celebrated as the convocation day. It felt great to be back in the college campus. When I entered the portals of my college it gave me a nostalgic feeling. Well everything was still the same in college but there was this vacuum inside me. It was difficult for me to recognize that unfamiliar vacuum.As I entered the hall I met all my friends and classmates (including Abhishek and Shoibhik). Had the regular conversation, shared some jokes but that unfamiliar vacuum was taking the life out of me.
The convocation ceremony had just begun and the chief guest came on stage to give his speech. There was pin drop silence then.But something broke that silence. It was Sagarika’s footsteps, again the last one to reach any place as usual, and probably the first and the last (love) for me too.She came and sat next to me filling not only the empty seat next to me but also the unfamiliar vacuum inside me.We then had our conversation where I portrayed that everything was going well and smooth in my life.
After receiving the degree we went outside for a brisk walk around the campus. Failing to bottle up my emotions, I finally told her what she meant to me. There was an uncomfortable silence, which surrounded me, and out of an impulse she said 'yes' to my proposal. Well I am not sure if that ‘yes’ was out of an impulse but that impulse has today brought Sagarika and me back to this college after 25 years for our daughter’s convocation day.Today my hair has turned a little grey and Sagarika has started getting her wrinkles.We are no more a pretty couple but my daughter says we are the most beautiful couple on earth if not the prettiest.This college blessed me with a degree, great friends (Abhishek and Shoibhik) and a lot more (Sagarika).
-Saikat Saha
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